DBZ BREAKAGE!
by chumble
Summary: IT'S a fourth wall story with jokes from abridged version


_THESE JOKES ARE MOSTLY FROM ABRIDGED SERIES&I DO NOT OWN CHARACTERS AND WONT GET PAID FOR IT SO SHUT UP!_

_BREAKAGE!_

**It's been nearly two week since the battle with Majin Buu and Videl is about to have unwelcome guests.**

**Hey Videl wake up we've got visitors! Hercule shouted up the stairs happily. It's Saturday! Let me sleep in for once, training can wait. Videl shouted out rolling over in her bed. C'mon Videl they've come all this way to visit get up! You don't wanna be rude, do you? Hercule shouted up again as the guests went and sat down in the large living room of the house. Fine! I'm coming. Videl said with a low grumble and rolled out of bed grabbing a change of cloths and heading into her bathroom to take a quick shower. **

**A few minutes later Videl walked out of the bathroom fully dressed and noticed someone going through her things…**

**Stop going through my stuff! Videl shouted at the girl trifling through her stuff. Wha! As if I care what you have to say. The girl said snootily. (simply put she's a bitch) This is my stuff and I don't want you going through it! Videl said snatching an old photo book out of the girls hands hastily. What ever not like I care you little bitch! And besides that who are all these guys? You little whore. The girl said even more snootily looking at a championship team photo that Videl had participated in. It's a fighting tournament I participated in! Get out of my room! Videl nearly shouted grabbing her stuff from the girl and pushing her out of the room, making sure to lock the door to her bedroom. (only Videl has a key to her room) I gotta get out of here before I hurt someone. Videl thought to herself before opening the door to her balcony and taking off in the direction of Gohan's house. **

**A short time later at Gohan's house Videl landed nearly out of breath…**

**Videl why are you out of breath? Gohan asked worriedly as he watched Videl land. Those jerks! I don't wanna see any of them again, so long as I live! Videl hissed with pure hatred lining her voice. What happened? Gohan asked calmly walking over to Videl. Stupid relatives! I hate all of them. All they ever do is put me down! Just because I didn't go to one of those rich snooty schools and don't think and act the way they want me to that automatically makes me a whore or a bitch! I don't fucking think so! Gohan I need to cool off can I sit here for awhile? Videl said trying to calm down. Of course Videl you're always welcome here. Gohan said softly knowing that Videl was upset. Thanks. Videl said looking down nervously. No problem Videl there's no way you'd be turned away when you're upset. Gohan said with that same heartwarming smile he always had with Videl. (that was a rare smile) Thanks Gohan. Videl said walking beside Gohan into the house. No problem c'mon it's about lunch time, besides I know Goten will be happy to have your company. He's been asking constantly when you were gonna come back over. Gohan said opening the front door and following Videl inside. Videl, Videl! Yea! Videl's come to play! Goten cheered happily running up and hugging Videl. Hey Goten, have you been good? Videl said hugging Goten as if he was her little brother. (hints and spoilers to whoever hasn't seen Dragon Ball GT yet, but then who HASN'T seen GT?) Hello Videl will you be joining us? Chichi asked in a cheerful fashion. Umm… [Videl's stomach growling] … I guess that's a yes. Videl said slightly embarrassed. Alright Goten go wash up for lunch. Chichi said to her youngest son. Awww Mom do I half to? Goten asked with a whine. You'd best listen to your mother. Videl said sitting on her knees to look eye level at Goten. (Scared the shit out of him with the look in her eyes and he jumped off quick to go wash up for lunch) Where the hell does that voice keep coming from? Videl said thinking out loud without realizing it. That's the narrator/writer of the story. Gohan explained walking over to the table and sitting down. The who? Videl asked confused while taking a seat next to Gohan. (I'm the guy writing this story it's a fan fiction so I'm not getting paid to make it and neither are you.) Damn! Chichi said setting lunch down on the table. Maybe it'll be fun, not like he can force us to do stuff we don't want to do. Right! Goten said running into the room and taking his seat at the table. (I'm the writer Goten that means I can totally make you do random shit.) PROVE IT! Goten shouted out in disbelief. (Okay, but remember you asked for it) Hamlet ate some butter toast, and I eat my farts. Goten said without realizing what was going on. Damn! I'm just gonna go with what the narrator says. Gohan and Videl said simultaneously then started eating lunch. (While Goten couldn't because an invisible force field kept him from being able to eat, what you get for arguing with the narrator BITCH!) Awww! I'm sorry can I please have lunch Mr. Mysterious voice from no where. Goten said in an apologetic tone. (don't do it again and you can eat, but NO Desert!) Aww c'mon no desert what kind of crap is that? Goten asked angerly. (are YOU arguing with me again) No sir I'll be good. Goten said looking down and eating lunch quietly. Hey Mr. Narrator I have a question. Gohan said calmly as to not make the narrator mad. (what is it Gohan) Can you mess with anyone from anywhere? Gohan asked curiously. (Yup anyone from any series as I see fit) Even Vegita? Videl asked intrigued. (sure check this out [photo of Vegita in a frilly pink tutu floats down from seemingly no where] like I said anyone) WOW! You are all powerful. Chichi said staring in awe at the photo on the table. (Yup not even Shenron has the power to stop the narrator) What about Mr. Popo? Goten asked curiously. (Not even the great Mr. Popo can stop the all powerful Narrator) [echo of Mr. Popo's laugh] (though Mr. Popo does scare me, so long as I'm in control I'll be fine) I think Mr. Popo scares everyone. Chichi said still staring at the photo of Vegita. [photo vanishes] (behave I gotta get this back to Bulma's stash before anyone notices it missing) Waite that's an actual photo of Vegita? Gohan asked confused. (you'd be amazed at how sick and twisted those two can be) Why do I get the feeling we're forgetting something? Videl said thinking about something. (OH CRAP! The plot that's right, I was having so much fun being all powerful I forgot) What is the plot anyway? Goten asked with a slight look of confusion on his face. (NO Time to explain GTG)**

**Back to the plot at Hercule's house…**

**Hey Videl answer me already! You've got to the count of three to open this door! Hercule shouted at the door to Videl's room. (don't waste our time! She's not in there) What? Then where the hell is she? Hercule demanded. (shut up not like she's gone to do something stupid) Where is she? The girl from earlier asked angerly. (now why should I tell you, after all you don't even have a name) I'm the world martial arts champion, and I demand to know where my daughter is! Hercule shouted out at the narrator. (you strong I don't think so! Let me introduce to a friend of mine) [vortex opens up and Mr. Popo walks out from it] Alright maggots you ready to learn the pecking order? Mr. Popo asked menacingly. [sound of bowls releasing] (this is my friend Mr. Popo he's the true strongest in the world of Dragon Ball and all other anime titles regardless of weather or not he's in them) Damn right now behold the pecking order! It goes you, the dirt, the worms inside of the dirt, Popo's Stool, Kami, the narrator, then Popo. Mr. Popo said evily. [more bowl movements] (from order of least to greatest. Only reason I'm safe is that I'm in the "Real World") Lucky you. Mr. Popo said to the narrator. (I have to go can you take care of them Mr. Popo?) Sure no problem. Mr. Popo said in a frighteningly cheerful tone. [portal opens up] (here's the portal home incase you get bored with these losers, though Majin Buu should be around here somewhere) Alright now go before your put through the training with these maggots. Mr. Popo said in an evil tone. (Oh! And try not to kill Hercule and Buu the rest do as you please, we need those two later on in the GT sagas)**

**Shortly after back at Gohan's house…**

**(well that's taken care of) What's been taken care of? Videl asked slightly confused. (your relatives) How did you take care of that? Gohan asked curious as to what the narrator was talking about. (Popo!) [everyone shivers in frightened terror] That explains it all! Chichi said with a simple smile on her face. Ya everyone is afraid of him! Gohan said smiling. (YA POPO IS CRAZY) MY DAD'S GONNA DIE ISN'T HE? VIDEL ASKED IN A LOUD TONE. (WELL I TOLD POPO TO TRY AND KEEP HIM AND BUU ALIVE BECAUSE OF LATER, AND I CAN'T REVILE WHAT FOR) WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING? GOTEN ASKED LOUDLY. THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION. GOHAN SAID IN A LOUD TONE HIMSELF. HEY WHY DO WE ALL HALF TO YELL? CHICHI ASKED IN A YELL OF HER OWN. (OH CRAP! Sorry I had the caps lock on by accident) why? Gohan asked curiously. (another project on my computer… my mind is wandering off to another subject again! fan fiction is sooo hard to control for me) K talk to you when you get back. Gohan said getting up and going over to the couch, Videl following him. (stay out of trouble you two) We will. Videl said in a calm fashion.**

…

**(okay I'm back) damn you've been gone for three days. Gohan said to the narrator while walking down the hallway of the school heading to the next class. (damn… and people say the characters don't do stuff on their own in fan fiction) I know but the days go on. Can you do anything to get us out of class? Videl asked the narrator hopeful. (sorry no can do, I can mess with the teachers but I won't get you out of class) Why do I half to go to school? Gohan asked disappointed. (what you get for being in a show for kids/teenagers now hurry up you're late for class) Damn. Videl said walking into the classroom with Gohan. Videl, Gohan you two are late! You have detention this Saturday. The teacher said noticing that they were late to class. (…) Damn! I had plans this weekend with Goten, Trunks, Picolo, and Vegita. Gohan said quietly. (…) Your camping trip? Videl asked interested. Ya. Gohan said hanging his head. You want detention for the rest of the year? The teacher asked in a smart ass tone. (Oh shut up!) What the hell? The teacher shouted after hearing the narrator speak. [chalk lifts on it's own and the word POPO is written in huge letters on the board] (I do believe this is where you…) [sound of bowl movements] (right on time) [everyone runs out of the room including Gohan and Videl, though they were only playing along]**

**What the hell was that? The teacher shouted now nearly out of breath. (hey teacher check this out!) [Mr. Popo walks out from the corner of the other hallway laughing] OH FUCK! The teacher said before… "mysteriously vanishing." (Thanks) No problem I enjoy this kind of fun. Mr. Popo said going back to the look out.**

**Freedom! The whole student body of the school shouted running for dear life. Hey thanks! Gohan shouted out to the sky. (you two are being followed) Huh? I don't see anyone. Videl said looking around. [Sharpner and Erasa float over to Gohan and Videl] Oh ya! All powerful. Gohan said out loud. Who are you talking to Gohan? Sharpner asked looking around. (that would be me the narrator/writer of this fan fiction) Isn't characters talking to the outside world breaking the forth wall? Erasa asked curiously. (ya but I don't really care it makes it funny) Obviously! The teacher ended up shitting himself. Videl said in a calm tone. (Hey Gohan you noticed it in the Majin Buu saga yet?) Noticed what? Gohan asked confused. (Well who created the pink menace, who released him after he was sealed away, and what is the pink monster's name) Bibidy… Babadi… Buu..? So what about it? Gohan asked still not getting the joke. Disney's Cinderella! Oh god it's a Disney reference! Videl said pointing out the joke. (finally someone got the joke) Hey Mr. Narrator person, are you wasted? Sharpner asked confidently [random shotgun blast Sharpner's head off] (never doubt the narrator) [Sharpner's head grows back instantly] (GTG again! I'm gonna try to make a random video) Ever wonder where he actually goes when not working on the stories? Gohan asked looking around at the sky. (it's a simple explanation Gohan I either mess around on the computer or I leave the house) you were back pretty quick this time. Videl said with a slight smile. (actually I realized that being the narrator allows me to slow down or even stop the flow of time until I get back) Well duh! Sharpner said in a sarcastic tone. [shotgun cocking sound] I'll be good! Sharpner said shrinking into a fetal position. (that's what I though bitch) Wow nice tone you got there. Erasa said calmly to the narrator. [shotgun blows Sharpner's head off again and again his head grows back] Why me? Sharpner asked the narrator after his head grew back again. (simple I just plain don't like you, besides I can just put this into the mature category on my fanfiction page instead of my otaku account so that honestly I can say many, many evil things without getting in trouble) Good point. Gohan said calmly thinking about the wordplay in this story. (random crazy ass scene time!) Wait what? Gohan said in confusion. [Videl and Erasa begin having a lesbian moment in front of the school] Wow! I love this writer/narrator! Sharpner said happily watching the scene. {insert detailed lesbian sex scene between Videl and Erasa here} (you don't honestly think I'd go into detail do you) Hoping! Gohan and Sharpner sighed sadly. [cancel sex scene] That was just plain weird! Videl said wiping the…(let's not go into detail on that) off her face.**

**Random transition to Hercule's house…**

**(hello anyone still alive) … (anyone at all, geeze this place is a mess) Help me! Hercule's voice split through the silence. (damn! Mr. Popo honestly left you alive, count your blessings) He's broken both my legs and Buu is nothing but a bloody pink blob! Hercule shouted. (again count your blessings) Please help us? Hercule begged. (umm… NO! bye)**

**Next random transition to capsule corp …**

**(hey Bulma where's Vegita and Trunks) Their in the gravity room. Don't mess them up too much. Bulma said smiling. (thanks)**

**Yet another transition…**

**Dad I'm tired! Trunks cried huffing loudly. Keep at it. Vegita said while continuing. (Guess who's back) Son of a Bitch! Vegita said continuing training. (yup your torture has come back to haunt you!) [Nappa's voice begins talking] OH FUCK! Vegita shouted while pouring his energy into focus to block out Nappa's voice. (relax Vegita I'm not that evil) [Nappa's voice goes quiet] (So how's the training going) Fine but Trunks can't keep up. Vegita said keeping up with his training. (well take a break, before I force you to) Fine, Trunks we're done for the day. Vegita said turning the gravity back to normal and opening up the door. (great now, I have a very interesting question for you) What is it? Vegita said walking over to a table and taking a seat. (you're the prince of all saiyans right) Ya and? Vegita said agitated. (well wouldn't the fact that you married and have a son mean that you would be King Vegita, Queen Bulma, and Prince Trunks) That's… actually not a bad argument, but without the coronation I can't truly take the title of King. Vegita said calmly. (true, so what about Gohan and that idiot you call Kakarot) What about them? Vegita asked intrigued as to what the narrator had to say. (well Gohan's grandfather is called the Ox King, would that technically make him a prince? Because Goku did marry the Ox King's daughter) Again, you make a really great argument to that but without going through the announcements of an heir to the throne no Gohan wouldn't be prince by title, only by blood ties. (ah you know when we're not trying to kill each other it's fun hanging out with you Vegita) Yes I must admit it is enjoyable. Vegita said with a slight grin on his face. (umm did Chichi call Bulma about the… well) Yes I'm aware of the tutu incident, but I've gotten over it. Vegita said calmly. (how) I burned all those embarrassing photos. Vegita said calmly. (What ever happened to iccurus anyway) If your talking about that pet Kakarot's boy had I have no idea. (me neither I think he was just written out of the show because Gohan grew up, though they could've let Goten have Iccurus right?) True but I'm happy that damn thing is gone. Vegita said calmly. (f'real that thing is beyond annoying.) Hahaha. At least we're agreeing for once. Vegita said calmly. (wanna go mess with Goku) If only we could. Vegita said with a sigh. (all powerful narrator/ writer here) So how does that help me? Vegita asked calmly. [Vegita is randomly transported with the narrator to where Goku was training] (first floor: training ground, idiot friends. Super powered freaks, & Heroes of earth please exit to either side of the portal and watch your step) Very amusing. Vegita said smiling and looking around for Kakarot. (yo Goku get YOW bitch ass out here) Very subtle. Vegita said walking around the area. Hey guys what's up? Goku's voice chimed in happily. (we came to mess with you so I though I'd give Vegita something to roll out) [Vegita unrolls a large poster in front of Goku] OH FUCK! Goku shouted seeing the poster and running away as fast as possible. What's on that poster anyway? Vegita asked looking at the poster and freaking out then running off himself. (Mr. Popo posters the perfect way to keep people freaked out… let's go mess with Piccolo)**

**Yet another random transition…**

**(Yo Piccolo what're you doing) I'm working on my tan. Piccolo said laying on a beach. (wait a minute… you've got green skin how in the hell are you gonna work on your tan) Alright so I decided to take a break from training for a day is that a problem? Piccolo asked calmly. (Well no but don't you have a camping trip with Gohan this weekend) Ya but I've learned the instant transmition technique. Piccolo said sitting up from where he was laying. (great idea there, though is that the only reason you decided to hit the b… wait a damn minute! Is that Kame House) Alright I'll admit it, somehow they convinced me to baby sit. Piccolo said watching Maron riding Turtle around on the ground laughing happily. (Damn now that's a new one altogether) What're you talking about? Piccolo said defensively. (You never babysat anyone at all) What about Gohan? Piccolo said defensively again. (I'd hardly call that babysitting, honestly you kidnapped him, left him alone in the wild to survive when he was "4!" and then beat the shit out of him… honestly who in the hell thought it was a good idea to leave a baby with you) I wish I knew myself, they said that they would be right back. It's been 3 hours now! I honestly have no idea how to take care of a baby. Piccolo shouted slightly. (uh oh, you're about to have a really bad day) [Maron begins crying] Oh great now what the hell do I do? (for starters calm down and stop yelling next off try this) [sippy cup appears filled with milk] (try giving her that) Alright. Piccolo said walking over to Maron and giving her the cup getting her to be quiet. (honestly what would you do without me) I'd rather not find out. Piccolo said smiling. (I'm outta here but before I go here's the stuff you need and instructions on how to make it) [everything needed to take care of a baby appears in front of Piccolo] Waite! Don't leave me here alone. Piccolo begged. (…) Damn he's gone. Piccolo said picking up the booklet.**

**Again with the damn transitions…**

**(Hey we're in snake way, let's go visit princess snake) [princess snake's castle appears, with a knocking sound at her door] Hello anyone there? Princess snake asked after hearing a knock at her door. (…) Guess not. Princess snake said walking back inside. [table begins floating] HOLY SHIT I'M WASTED AGAIN! Princess snake shouts. (Na that's me) Oh good, so how have you been? Princess snake asks happily. (pretty good I sent Popo to Hercule's house and to Gohan's school) How is he doing anyway I haven't seen Mr. Popo in years. Princess snake said happily thinking of Mr. Popo. (he's actually doing great everyone is afraid of him) Sounds about right, so are you hungry? I could have the girls make you a feast. Princess snake said happily again. (Nah maybe next time right now I gotta get down to Hell and mess with the villains) Alright have fun. Princess snake said happily waving goodbye.**

**DAMN TRANSITIONS…**

**(Yo who all's up) Oh great it's the narrator! Freza shouted fearful and slightly annoyed. (damn straight, where is everyone) Here and there, you can find Broly over at the pool table. Freza said calmly. (alright thanks)**

**FUCKING TRANSITONS!…**

**(Hey Broly, I got the stuff) Sweet! Broly shouted happily. [weed bag floats down from no where] (papers are in the bag as well) Thanks! Broly said happily rolling a joint. HOLD ON! THIS IS FORBIDDEN IN ALL PARTS OF THE AFTERLIFE! King Yenma shouted angerly. (whatever) [king Yenma goes flying out of hell and back to his desk] (Mahogany that BITCH!) Wanna hit? Broly asks holding out the joint. [joint gets a hit taken off it by an unseen force] (that's the good stuff) {several hours of smoking joints with Broly later} (damn I gotta get going but I don't wanna) Me neither. Broly said calmly. (let's go find Bojack) Why? Broly asked calmly. (Dude! He's a pirate, we can totally drink rum with him) I honestly like the way you think. Broly says calmly walking over to Bojack. (Dude! Rum) [massive piles of rum appear from no where] Alright! Bojack shouts happily opening a bottle of rum. Thank the narrator. Broly said to Bojack taking the bottle out of his hand. Thank you narrator. Bojack said getting Broly to hand the bottle of rum back to him. (your welcome…) [sniffling sounds] (I got no more jokes left! I gotta end it now.) NO! PLEASE NOT THAT! Bojack and Broly shout at the same time tearfully. (Sorry guys :'( I wish I could use more jokes here but I'm all used up for this one) !**

**Broly and Bojack cry simultaneously.**

**THE END :'(**


End file.
